My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
