i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
