The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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