I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
