Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
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You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
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hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize