where am i from again
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
