Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize