So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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