my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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