you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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