using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
