the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
