dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
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