thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
