and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I could fuck to npr.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
