My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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