People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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