Say something about gay babies.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
