apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
