Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
