Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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