Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
