She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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