now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
