i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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