Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He did a backflip because drugs
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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