im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
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I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
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Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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