My brain says no but my pants say off.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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