Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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