bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
