But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
