There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
