Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
