I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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