You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
