I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
