in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
