bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
