just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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