i don't like sucking hair
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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