Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
