I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
