i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
is it fun? or sober?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
