fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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