also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
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You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
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The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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