I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
