never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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