I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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