I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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