don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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