Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
