my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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