Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
