She's JV to your varsity
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I am naked and annoyed.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize