We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
