When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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