Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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