We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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