Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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