You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
